Procastinacion {ES/EN} Procastination
Hoy me desperte con una pregunta en la cabeza que no se de donde vino a mi cabeza pero estaba ahi y no paraba de resonar, como cuando te viene una cancion a la cabeza y no paras de tararearla. Sali de la cama, me hice el mate, tome el desayuno trate de evitarla a toda costa pero no la pude borrar de mi cabeza. Cuando me di cuenta que no iba a poder evitarla entocnes agarre el cuaderno y empece a escribir. La pregunta en mi mente era si soy procastinador.
Empeces por mirar el hoy como estoy en este momento y lass cosas que me vine proponiendo este ultimo tiempo y lass pude conseguir todas. Pero mas alla de conseguirlas o no, porque puede pasar que uno no siempre consiga lo que quiere o no en el momentto que quiere y capas cuesta un poco mas, pero procastinar habla de posponer sistematticamente cosas que uno quiere hacer o tiene que hacer. Y cuando eso se vuelve una conducta constante estamos ante un procastinador. Llegue a la conclusion de que no lo hago hoy dia y que por el contrario cada meta que me pongo o desafio que me encuentra lo afronto y no lo esquivo o lo dilato para mas adelante.
Y despues de darme cuenta de esto mire para atras y me di cuenta que no hace mucho tiempo atras hacia eso constantemente con cada cuestion que me atravesaba o que era importante para mi. Cuanto mas personal era mas la demoraba, y tambien me di cuenta que cuanto mas importante era para mi y mas tracendente lo evitaba mas aun. Esto me trajo muchos problemas, problemas que ademass me angustiaban mucho y muchas veces ccuando mas me angustiaba mass los evitaba entonces me enrredaba en un loop horrible. Quizas ahora que lo pienso tendria que haber pedido ayuda en ese momento, ahora que reviso para atras pase momentos muy feos y tengo la suerte de salirme de ahi de algun modo pero realmente estuve muy mal.
Quizas hasta podria haber entrado en depresion. Recuerdo que habia un problema que tenia en un trabajo con un compañero que me trataba realmente muy mal pero no maltrato verbal sino tenia mala onda conmigo, como que no queria mi presencia ahi. Un hombre mas grande yo entre a trabajar ahi y creo que sentia que le hacia sombra a su trabajo con el mio. Al principio no le di importancia, pero dia a dia cada vez se puso mas pesado y cada vez el hacia mas evidente su rechazo hacia mi persona. No sabia como poder tener un vvinculo cordial y ameno y para mi era realmente importante porque pasabamos mucho tiempo juntos y ademass teniamos trabajo en comun osea que teniamos que interactuar. Durante un año en ese trabajo solamente hacia mi trabajo pero eso me hizo muy mal y no me daba ganas de hacer nada, yo estaba siendo la esponja de todo su enojo o frustracion y me llevo con el sin darse cuenta.
No me pregunten porque no se que fue lo que me hizo cambiar o ahcer un click pero en un momento decidi accionar y hacer lo que cualquier persona hubiera hecho. Hablar con el. Un dia llegue al trabajo deje mis ccosas, salude a mis compañeros y el no estaba, assique me prepare y me prepare bien para la ocacion y cuando llego lo estaba esperando. Deje que el se fuera a su escritorio y cuando estaba dejando sus cosas me acerque y lo sorprendi. - Buen dia Diego! como estas? Cai con dos cafes y le dije que queria hablar con el por un tema de laburo.
Le pregunte si queria hablar ahi y nos sentamos. Entonces fui directo al grano, le dije que era por laburo y que hacia un año estaba pasando lo que les ccontaba, que necesitaba aclarar con el esto y que yo necesitaba de el , para poder hacer bien mi trabajo. Que mi trabajo estaba asociado directamente con el si no podia tener una comunion de trabajo no iba a poder estar mass en su equipo, el tipo no se lo esperaba. Agarro u se quedo por un momento mudo, despues del silencio agarro tomo un sorvo del cafe y me respondio, te pido mil disculpas, nunca te quise hacer sentir mal te digo la verdad pense quee te pusieron para sacarme del medio, despues me di cuenta que no, pero ya te habia tomado como bronca. Pero sinceramente no tengo ningun problema con vos. Desde ese momento todo cambio. Primero que nada cambie yo autamaticamente apenas yo le dije lo que me pasaba sin importaar su respuesta, pero despues todo fue aun mejor porque encima su respuesta fue positiva. Pero nada podria haber sucedido si yo no tomaba la iniciativa.
A todas esas personas que estan en situaciones asi a quienes lean el post y sientan que les pasa. Hagan el intento de afrontar eso que no quieren hacer. Y cuando lo hagan fijense como se sienten. Pueden empezar por algo pequeño una pequeña procastinacion algo no tan tracendental pero que les genere esa incomodidad y vean que les pasa. Se van a dar cuenta que la sensacion de sacarse esa pesades del cuerpo es palpable. Y despues con ese registro vayan por la siguente. No van a querer hacerlo nunca mas!
English Version
Today I woke up with a question in my head that I don't know where it came from but it was there and it kept echoing, like when a song comes into your head and you can't stop humming it. I got out of bed, made my mate, had breakfast, tried to avoid it at all costs but I couldn't erase it from my head. When I realized that I was not going to be able to avoid it then I grabbed the notebook and started writing. The question in my mind was whether I am a procrastinator.
Let's start by looking at today as I am right now and the things I have been proposing to myself this last time and I was able to achieve them all. But beyond getting them or not, because it can happen that you don't always get what you want or not at the time you want and layers cost a little more, but procrastinating is about systematically postponing things you want to do or have to do. And when that becomes a constant behavior we are dealing with a procrastinator. I came to the conclusion that I don't do it nowadays and that on the contrary every goal I set or challenge I face I face it and I don't avoid it or put it off for later.
And after realizing this I looked back and realized that not so long ago I did that constantly with every issue that came my way or was important to me. The more personal it was the more I delayed it, and I also realized that the more important it was to me and the more transcendent I avoided it even more. This brought me many problems, problems that also distressed me a lot and many times the more I was distressed the more I avoided them, so I got tangled in a horrible loop. Maybe now that I think about it I should have asked for help at that time, now that I look back I went through very bad times and I am lucky to get out of it somehow but I was really very bad.
Maybe I could have even gone into depression. I remember there was a problem I had at work with a co-worker who treated me really badly, but not verbally mistreated me, he just had a bad vibe with me, like he didn't want me to be there. An older man came to work there and I think he felt that I was overshadowing his work with mine. At first I didn't think anything of it, but day by day he was getting heavier and heavier and his rejection of me was becoming more and more evident. I didn't know how to have a cordial and pleasant relationship and for me it was really important because we spent a lot of time together and we also had a job in common, so we had to interact. For a year in that job I was only doing my job but that made me feel bad and I didn't feel like doing anything, I was being the sponge of all his anger or frustration and he took me with him without realizing it.
Don't ask me because I don't know what it was that made me change or click but at one point I decided to take action and do what anyone would have done. Talk to him. One day I arrived at work, left my stuff, greeted my colleagues and he wasn't there, so I prepared myself and prepared well for the occasion and when he arrived I was waiting for him. I let him go to his desk and when he was leaving his things I approached him and surprised him. - Good morning Diego! How are you? I went over with two coffees and told him I wanted to talk to him about some work.
I asked him if he wanted to talk there and we sat down. Then I went straight to the point, I told him that it was about work and that what I was telling you had been happening for a year, that I needed to clarify this with him and that I needed him, to be able to do my job well. That my work was directly associated with him, if I couldn't have a work communion I wouldn't be able to be in his team anymore, the guy didn't expect it. After the silence, he took a sip of coffee and answered me, I apologize, I never meant to make you feel bad, I tell you the truth, I thought they put you there to get me out of the way, then I realized that they didn't, but I had already taken you as a scold. But honestly I have no problem with you. From that moment on everything changed. First of all I changed automatically as soon as I told you what was wrong with me regardless of your answer, but then everything was even better because on top of that your answer was positive. But nothing could have happened if I didn't take the initiative.
To all those people who are in situations like this who read the post and feel it happening to them. Try to face what you don't want to do. And when you do, see how you feel. You can start with something small, a small procrastination, something not so transcendental but that generates that discomfort and see what happens to you. You will realize that the sensation of getting rid of that heaviness in your body is palpable. And then with that record go for the next one, you will never want to do it again!
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